


It sucks to be me - Teen Wolf version

by Eirieniel (Kanzi)



Category: Avenue Q - Lopez/Marx, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Song Parody, illustrated version available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-17 00:12:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4645218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanzi/pseuds/Eirieniel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short silly crossover of "Avenue Q" and "Teen Wolf" because it sucks to be anyone in Beacon Hills.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It sucks to be me - Teen Wolf version

**Author's Note:**

> again: **Fancy colorful illustrated version here:[ Muppet!Isaac is ridiculously perfect ](http://eirieniel.deviantart.com/art/It-sucks-to-be-me-Teen-Wolf-version-555856285) **
> 
> Isaac is just really muppetable. And yes, that's a word now.

**Song: 'It sucks to be you' from the musical 'Avenue Q'[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPvZVdHDB4E ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPvZVdHDB4E%20)**

**Songtext changes: by Eirieniel**

 

_+++ [scene: BEACON HILLS, WOOD. Day. SCOTT is sitting dejectedly on the burnt steps of the HALE HOUSE RUINS with an angry PUPPY next to him. STILES enters.] +++_

 

**STILES**

**Morning, Scott!**

 

**SCOTT**

**Hi, Stiles.**

 

**STILES**

**How's life?**

 

**SCOTT**

**Disappointing!**

 

**STILES**

**What's the matter?**

 

**SCOTT**

**Doctor Deaton laid me off.**

 

**STILES**

**Oh, I'm sorry!**

 

**SCOTT**

**Me too! I mean, look at me! It's three years till college, and I always thought -**

 

**STILES**

**What?**

 

**SCOTT**

**No, it sounds stupid.**

 

**STILES**

**Aww, come on!**

 

**SCOTT**

**When I was little I thought I would be...**

 

**STILES**

**What?**

 

**SCOTT**

**A veterinarian beloved by puppies**

**But now I'm a werewolf and as you can see**

**I'm not**

 

**PUPPY**

**Woof! Woof!**

 

**SCOTT**

**Oh well..**

 

**PUPPY**

**Grrrr...**

 

**SCOTT**

**It sucks to be me.**

 

**STILES**

**Nooo.**

 

**SCOTT**

**It sucks to be me.**

 

**STILES**

**No!**

 

**SCOTT**

**It sucks to be broke and a werewolf and barked at constantly.**

**It sucks to be me.**

 

**STILES**

**Oh, you think your life sucks?**

 

**SCOTT**

**I think so.**

 

**STILES**

**Your problems aren't so bad!**

**I'm kinda funny and pretty damn smart.**

 

**SCOTT**

**You are.**

 

**STILES**

**Thanks! On circumcision I have knowledge to impart.**

 

**SCOTT**

**Uhh...**

 

**STILES**

**And as you know I have a gigantic heart**

**So why don't I have a girlfriend?**

**Fuck! It sucks to be me!**

 

**SCOTT**

**Me too.**

 

**STILES**

**It sucks to be me.**

 

**SCOTT**

**It sucks to be me. It sucks to be Scott...**

 

**STILES**

**And Stiles...**

 

**SCOTT**

**To not have a job!**

 

**STILES**

**To not have a date!**

 

**BOTH**

**It sucks to be me.**

 

_+++ [enter: LYDIA and JACKSON – both are arguing animatedly] +++_

 

**SCOTT**

**Hey, Lydia, Jackson, can you settle something for us? Do you have a second?**

 

**LYDIA**

**Ah, certainly.**

 

**STILES**

**Whose life sucks more? Scott's or mine?**

 

**JACKSON and LYDIA**

**Ours!**

 

**LYDIA**

**We are together.**

 

**JACKSON**

**We're as close as people can get.**

 

**LYDIA**

**We've been the perfect couple...**

 

**JACKSON**

**...Ever since the day we met.**

 

**LYDIA**

**So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset.**

**Oh, every day is an aggravation.**

 

**JACKSON**

**Come on, that's an exaggeration!**

 

**LYDIA**

**You leave your clothes out,**

**Treat my house like your chateau.**

 

**JACKSON**

**Oh yeah? You made me watch 'The Notebook' twenty-two times in a row.**

 

**LYDIA**

**You make that tentative sentiment we share a hell!**

 

**JACKSON**

**So do you, that's why I'm in hell too!**

 

**LYDIA**

**It sucks to be me!**

 

**JACKSON**

**No, it sucks to be me!**

 

**STILES**

**It sucks to be me!**

 

**SCOTT**

**It sucks to be me!**

 

**ALL**

**Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be? It sucks to be me!**

 

_+++ [they dance; enter: ISAAC] +++_

 

**ISAAC**

**Why are you all so happy?**

 

**SCOTT**

**Because our lives suck!**

 

**ISAAC**

**Your lives suck? Am I hearing you correctly? Ha!**

**I lived with my father for an eternity.**

**He locked me in a freezer whenever he damned pleased.**

**But then the Kanima made sure he's deceased,**

**And totally dead!**

**And now I'm an orphan!**

**But also a werewolf!**

**And I have an unemployed alpha!**

**And we have lots of foes to slay!**

**It sucks to be me! It sucks to be me!**

**I say it Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Suck!**

**It sucks to be me!**

 

_+++ [enter: MATT – holding a camera] +++_

 

**MATT**

**Excuse me?**

 

**SCOTT**

**Hey there.**

 

**MATT**

**Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking to take some pictures.**

 

**LYDIA**

**Why are you looking all the way out here?**

 

**MATT**

**Well, I started at Avenue A but so far everything is high-class and boring. But this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper! Oh, and look - a burnt-down building!**

 

**SCOTT**

**You need to talk to the owner. Let me get him.**

 

**MATT**

**Great, thanks!**

 

**SCOTT**

**YO, DEREK!**

 

 _+++ [enter: DEREK - backflipping off the stairs] +++_ ****

**MATT**

**Oh my God! You're Derek Hale!**

 

**DEREK**

**Yes I am!**

**I got arrested for murder as a hoax**

**My bad luck started when my girlfriend killed my folks!**

**Though I'm in charge I'm the butt of everyone's jokes,**

**But I'm here – I am the alpha!- in Beacon Hills**

 

**ALL**

**It sucks to be you.**

 

**STILES**

**You win!**

 

**ALL**

**It sucks to be you.**

 

**SCOTT**

**I feel better now!**

 

**DEREK**

**Try having people stopping you to tell you "Don't be such a sourwolf!"- It. Gets. Old.**

 

**ALL**

**It sucks to be you in Beacon Hills**

**(Sucks to be me) in Beacon Hills**

**(Sucks to be you) in Beacon Hills**

**(Sucks to be us) but not when we're together.**

**We're together here in Beacon Hills!**

**We live in Beacon Hills, our friends do too!**

**Worst nightmares come true, We live in Beacon Hills!**

 

**MATT**

**This is real life!**

 

**ALL**

**We live in Beacon Hills!**

 

**JACKSON**

**You're gonna hate it!**

 

**ALL**

**We live in Beacon Hills!**

 

**DEREK**

**Everyone dies!**

 

**ALL**

**Welcome to Beacon Hills!**


End file.
